Cry For Me
by Ukaisha
Summary: Takouji Super Drabble, 1,500 words. Everyone's biggest fear, death, can be comforted just by knowing that someone, somewhere, will cry for you.


Disclaimer: Author takes no stake or claim on any characters mentioned.

This story contains exactly 1,500 words according to Microsoft Word.

A/N: Yes, the Linkin Park song had something to do with this. Freaking Linkin Park.  
It's something I wonder as well…when I die, will you cry for me?

Cry For Me

The two teen boys were occupied in a messy, disorganized bedroom that obviously belonged to someone with no sense of cleanliness. One of them was sitting on the bed, watching the second one determinedly play a fast-paced action/adventure type video game. Their conversation was mostly limited to short bursts, mostly concerning the video game and how stupid some of the quests were or how hard some of the bosses were.  
However, when a lull in the story came about, one of them began to pursue a new subject, and it caught the other entirely off guard.

"Kouji, what kind of fears do you have?" Takuya asked his friend, who looked kind of surprised to have been asked this kind of question.  
"That's out of the blue," he replied, not terribly interested in this train of conversation and figuring it would change quickly if he just avoided giving a straight answer.  
"I know, but I'm curious," the brunet insisted. "So tell me one!"  
Kouji was just playing with his hands and boredly watching his friend's character move on-screen, not really committing to anything. "Uh, like what?" he asked, like he didn't really understand the question and he needed further clarification. He figured after enough stalling, Takuya would just eventually give up and move onto something else.  
"I dunno. Just something that…like, the thought of it scares you."  
"But I mean, like, are you talking about an irrational fear like if I'm afraid of heights or something? Or do you mean like, what am I afraid will happen in the future, or…"  
"I don't care," Takuya interrupted impatiently. "Jeeze, it's a simple question; just give a simple answer. No need to really get into it."  
"Well…"  
"Hey, for me," Takuya interrupted again, "-my biggest fear is growing old. I don't want to live to be very old and I think it's bullshit that our society keeps making us live longer. Originally we weren't SUPPOSED to live past like 40 because after that life just kinda sucks. Hell, if I go past 60 and I'm still kicking, screw that; I'd just end it myself. I do not want to be the wrinkled old guy living in a nursing home with a bed pan who can't even breathe on my own."  
Kouji steadily smiled and chuckled throughout this speech. "And here you are, telling me there's no need to go into detail. What's worse, in some ways your fear is even more depressing than mine."  
"Yeah, but now I've told you my fear, so you've got to tell me yours."  
"No, it doesn't work that way. I didn't agree to say anything to you even if you told me one of your fears."  
"God damnit, Kouji."

Kouji was still noncommittally playing with his hands, trying to determine if he should bother mentioning it. Takuya was being really insistent… "You'll think it's stupid," he said almost casually, like his fear was not so much a tightly kept secret as it was just something mildly embarrassing.  
"Kouji, not many things surprise me anymore, especially not from you. So unless you want a gender reassignment surgery or something, I won't judge."  
"I'm afraid of…well, you can say I'm afraid of dying."  
"That's not stupid; that's a totally rational fear. A lot of people are afraid of death. Hell, I am." Takuya actually seemed content with this answer and if unprovoked, he would have continued playing his game without ever mentioning the subject again. But Kouji now wanted to pursue it; he wanted his friend to get what he was saying.  
"No, I mean, it's not just death itself. I'm not afraid TO die. But I'm afraid of…well, you may think it's corny or something…"  
"Who cares what I think?"  
"That's just it. I'm afraid of dying, and having no one care."

Takuya paused his game and looked up at his friend with a whole new look, one more of bewilderment and concern. "Having no one care?"  
"I guess that's not even really the point. I mean, I know if I get older I'll probably make a lot of mistakes and do a lot of stupid things and make a lot of enemies. I don't anticipate doing anything great or noticeable to where many people will care about me dying. I'm no one famous; I'm just a nobody; no one will really give a shit about whether I'm dead or alive." Kouji was now not really looking at his friend, and he stopped for a second, trying to organize the right words to throw out there. "But when I die, even if no one loves me and I die alone and even if I did a lot of stupid things, I want someone to forget all that and to cry for me. I want someone to cry when I die." He was kind of wilting, like thinking these depressing thoughts was just sucking all the will out of him.  
"That's your biggest fear?"  
"It's both a fear and a desire, really. If I could just know for sure that when I die someone will cry for me, I think I'd be a lot more comfortable with dying in the first place. That would allow me to rest."

Kouji immediately sobered up and began dismissing his statements when he realized Takuya was still staring at him. "I mean, I know that's kind of stupid and I know when I die I won't even know if someone did or not, and I'm just being paranoid or something because I'm sure I won't die totally isolated, so it's one of those fears I shouldn't even be worrying about-"  
"I'll cry for you."  
Kouji stopped rambling and returned his friend's stare. "What?"  
"I'll cry for you," Takuya repeated decisively. "Even if when we grow up we don't talk to each other and I don't see you for years, when I find out you've died, I promise I'll cry for you."  
"You promise…?" Kouji was really just repeating what his friend had said, not really trying to trap him into anything. But in a way, he was looking for some assurance, some solid proof that Takuya meant what he was saying.  
"Yep. And you know I never break my promises. I'll cry for you when you die, Kouji." To lighten the mood, he grinned. "Just be sure to let me know when you die. I don't keep up with those things."  
Kouji sighed patiently in response. "Right. I'll just be sure to tend you a text when I kick the bucket. 'Hey Takuya. Just letting you know that I died this morning, so, cry or something.'"  
Takuya laughed back. "Well, THAT would be cool. Then I'd be like 'Hey Kouji; bring me back a souvenir from Hell, will you?'"  
"I love that you assume I'm going to hell."

For a long time, nothing was said again about the promise. Kouji still nurtured his little fear and Takuya remembered his little promise. As they grew older, they grew distant, and it seemed that the friendship ended entirely. They were too different as people to remain friends for long, and Kouji was withdrawing into a depression that his happy-go-lucky friend simply could not pull him out of. It seemed to have ended.

One night, Takuya received a text message from Kouji:

_Takuya, I don't want you to be mad or to say anything to anyone, but I'm about to kill myself. I just wanted you to know. Please don't tell me not to; that won't work, it'll just hurt. Bye._

Takuya, who hadn't heard from Kouji in years, was stunned that his old friend still had his phone number; stunned even more that he thought it worthwhile enough to message him right before he killed himself. He was paralyzed, staring at the message and reading it over and over again, almost unable to act. He wanted to type out a frenzy of pleas and guilt trips and he felt like he had to hurry as fast as he possibly could before he was too late.  
But he still remembered his old friend and the way the guy worked. He was probably telling the truth; begging for him to spare his life would only make the experience more miserable for him.  
The promise from his youth came back to him, and it suddenly occurred to him that Kouji had wanted to die for a long time. Why else would he be so afraid of dying? He would kill himself because he believed no one cared, and he was afraid that when he did, no one would ever care…

He was almost afraid he would be too late, though he'd only gotten the text a few minutes ago. It took a lot of effort and a lot of self-control to type out his reply without inserting all kinds of other rambling pleas, especially when he didn't even know if Kouji was going to end up reading it.

He wrote:

_I'll cry for you._

And then he cried.


End file.
